parentParenthood – Raising Adult Children

Forever Young – Song by Bob Dylan

• May God bless and keep you always
• May your wishes all come true
• May you always do for others
• And let others do for you
• May you build a ladder to the stars
• And climb on every rung
• May you stay forever young
• May you stay forever young.

• May you grow up to be righteous
• May you grow up to be true
• May you always know the truth
• And see the lights surrounding you
• May you always be courageous
• Stand upright and be strong
• May you stay forever young
• May you stay forever young.

• May your hands always be busy
• May your feet always be swift
• May you have a strong foundation
• When the winds of changes shift
• May your heart always be joyful
• And may your song always be sung
• May you stay forever young
• May you stay forever young.

(LIKE BEFORE: I warn you this is much better in video. These is really just the outline of what was laid on my heart.)

The series Parenthood just had its final episode and DaRhonda and I really enjoyed the show.

Zeke and Camille Braverman are the parents of 4 adult children, 4 children-in-law and 9 grandchildren.

It gets complicated.

Part of the problem here is that you thought when you had these kids that you were raising them to be adults and then you were done. They would wander off into adulthood and you wouldn’t… Have to be involved…

• you wouldn’t…Have to fix things…
• you wouldn’t…Have to worry…
• you wouldn’t…Have to care as much…

But that isn’t how it works is it?

If you were surprised to find there was no manual for the raising of children, wait till you get to being the parent of adults.

A while back DaRhonda and I got together with a group of friends and spent a few weeks talking through some of the experiences we have had. We talked

• Through the joys of having good people that came from our homes
• The heart break that comes when they are hurting or even when they are hurting themselves for others
• The weird and complicated game of letting them be adults, but still letting them be your kids
• The difficulty of watching them make the same mistakes you made without running in an “fixing it”
  • Even when they look at you and ask you to “fix it”

An interesting rule was born in those meetings. I think it came from one of the books we were reading at the time. “Once a Parent Always a Parent”

Besides confidentiality, which should be obvious in a group of friends… We restated this each week.

“Even when I am talking to you about my child and some issue that may have occurred, that is still my Baby. Please don’t run them down or treat them poorly because of what was said here. Treat them like my Baby”

If we as Christian parents wonder how our Father in Heaven feels about us I think that sums it up pretty well.

That is still my baby.

While Jesus was here on earth He spent a great deal of His time trying to help people understand the Father. So much of what we have recorded from Him is telling us about how God feels about His lost children and how we might Love them.

In the book of Luke Jesus we find a frustrated and very disappointed Jesus. He has actually been told to leave Jerusalem and now he is now being ridiculed for spending His time with the “sinners”. His response is to tell parable after parable all pointing to God’s priority and God’s feelings for His children.

Luke 15:11-31

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Watch this Father closely.