The message here is one that I brought at a service quite some time back, but we use parts of it in the message this week and in counseling with a several young couples this week. So I figure this the direction the Lord is moving in and I’m gonna follow. I hope you enjoy it.


This message we written before reading the book “Marriage on the Rock”. But we have since started using that book in marriage counseling because it fits so well without message. If you like the idea put forth in this message I would strongly advise reading that book together with your spouse, reading it pre-marriage as a couple for a reality check, or reading it as a single to frame God’s plan for marriage.




Genesis 2:24 (MSG)

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh. The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.


They became ONE flesh


These sessions will celebrate marriage. We celebrate Duke and Heather. Marriage needs our celebration. Marriage needs our support.  You see Marriage is under attack


But you might say, “I haven’t seen any anti marriage commercials or posters lately.” What do you mean? What I mean is that marriage as in idea is changing and becoming something else.


We, as a people, are like infants. We as creatures have always taken things and picked them up and turned them, twisted them, pulled on them, banged them on something, put them in our mouths, and do everything we can to experiment with them till feel we have mastered them. And, like a two year old, once we have done so we scream “MINE”. Again like that child, when we grab the wrong thing and misuse it we make a mess.


Man has gone through this process over and over again…


Paradise – Fruit from the Tree of knowledge of Good and Evil

Life – Cain slew Able

Communication – The Tower of Babel

Sexuality – Sodom wanted to have sex with the Angels

God – We carve Gods from wood, from them from Gold, make trees, rocks, the sky, and small green pieces of paper are our Gods


We have learned to see and understand those things as sin.

But now it seems it is once again time. We are to taking marriage and start turning it, twisting it, pulling it, banging it on stuff, and putting it in our mouths.


We have begun to ask:


  • Well, she is pregnant so we need to get married?
  • Well I’m going to be thirty soon, so I should get married, if I’m going to… Then have some kids.
  • Why do we have to be married after it stops feeling good?
  • Why can’t two men be married?
  • Why can’t two women?
  • We’ve grown apart!
  • Why do I have to live with someone that I’m not “in love with”?


You see the problem is that marriage doesn’t belong to us.  It belongs to God. No matter how we twisted, chew on it, or try to change it, it will always belong to God. So it will only work one way;  His way.


God created marriage with a purpose, a meaning, a reason. The origins of Marriage are found in the book of Genesis. Whether you believe in Genesis as Literal Fact or Hebrew fable, I will not argue that with you. My time machine is broke.  But I will argue this point with you. 2 Timothy 3:16 – “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” So, if you believe in Yahweh, the Great “I am”, Jehovah; If you believe that Jesus is God then you must believe that the Bible is the truth.


Genesis 1:26-31 (NIV)


Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth,  and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”


So God created man in his own image,

       in the image of God he created him;

       male and female he created them.


God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”


Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.


God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.


Then we get detailed description of the marriage of Adams and Eve. Now this is a decidedly male dominated version of the events, but no less the truth.


Genesis 2:18-25 (NIV)


The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”


Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.

      But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.


 The man said,

       “This is now bone of my bones

       and flesh of my flesh;

       she shall be called ‘woman,  

       for she was taken out of man.”


For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.


The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.


Two people binding their lives together and becoming one flesh.


The Message paraphrase refers to it as “God’s Art”;

Meaning a representation of something greater with meaning than this connection between man and woman.



Give me your arm…


If your arm was coming off what else in your life would you concentrate on? How would you feel about someone looking at you arm and thinking about how they could take it from you? If I told you that your arm was diseased what would your reaction be?

  • Would ‘step 1’ be to remove it?
  • What if I told you that if you let me take your arm that there might be a chance that you could find a better one?  Would you easily give it to me?
  • If I told you that you had no choice but to give up your arm would that help you feel better about it?
  • If we had to remove it, would you feel relief? Would you long for it… Feel it there, even after it was gone.


They say that amputees still feel pain and inching in the missing limb. I’ts called phantom pain.


When I go on business trips without DaRhonda, often times, I can not sleep.  It just feels like something is out of sorts. Nothing in particular, but it just feels wrong.   THE ARM IS ITCHING


Those have experienced divorce or break up of a long term relationship; do you still feel you former spouse in your heart, your mind, your soul? Having someone else hold your arm for a long time feels weird doesn’t it?


You see this is what God intended when he created marriage. Marriage is to be a living example of God and his relationship with us, his relationship with Jesus, and Jesus relationship with us. If we look back at Genesis for a moment


Genesis 1:26-31 (NIV)


Then God said, “Let US make man in OUR image, in OUR likeness


So God created man in his own image,

       in the image of God he created him;

       MALE and FEMALE he created them.


Genesis 2:18-25 (NIV)


The man said,

       “This is now bone of my bones

       and flesh of my flesh;

       she shall be called ‘woman, 

       for she was taken out of man.”


For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.


I know it seems ridiculous to us to consider all the ideas about removing our arm and giving it to someone else. The idea of replacing the arm, maybe. But people also consider it ridiculous that our spouse is really part of our person the same as our arm. They say, “That’s cute and all but my wife and I are really two separate humans. She can leave and I can leave and that is just the fact. So if your position is that we are really one flesh then you standing on shaky ground.” To you I say… If your marriage is built on anything less then you are in trouble from the start.  GIVE ME YOUR ARM! How ridiculous is that?


1 Corinthians 7:4 (NIV)


The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.


DaRhonda Story – I tried to explain this to DaRhonda one eveing and she told me, “Your body belongs to me and I want it to go to sleep”.


You see as ridiculous as that my sound in this world we have created for ourselves it is completely in accordance with the one that God created. God created us for each other as a living breathing example of his relationship with us.


1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV)


Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself?


Jesus says to the Apostles


John 14:20


On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.


The married couple’s goal is to strive towards oneness, Oneness with each other, Oneness as a couple with Jesus, Oneness with Jesus and thus with the Father. If you are ONE, can anything come between you?


  • What about the football game?
  • What about that video game you want to play?
  • What about your friends?
  • What about Money?
    • Are you one in Money?
  • What about your parents?
    • Genesis 2: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
  • What about your children?


I heard a Pastor once speaking to people about children coming first in a marriage. He ask people to remember that when a flight is taking off the Flight Attendants will tell you that in the event of a crash an oxygen mask will drop for each passenger. You are told to put on your mask first and then place the mask on your children or anyone who cannot help themselves. Why? Because if you pass out due to lack of oxygen you are no help to them. It is the same with your marriage and anyone who is in need of your help. If your marriage does not come first then you may not be able to help anyone.


Mark 9:35


“If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.”


In the wedding the wedding vows you may hear the pastor say, “What God has brought together, let no man put asunder”. Where did that come from and why is it important.


Matthew 19:3-6 (MSG)


One day the Pharisees were badgering him: “Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?”


He answered, “Haven’t you read in your Bible that the Creator originally made man and woman for each other, male and female? And because of this, a man leaves father and mother and is firmly bonded to his wife, becoming one flesh—no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate his art by cutting them apart.”


After marriage you are a representation of, the image of, the living God and his relationship with man.


John 10:30 (Young’s Literal Translation)


I and the Father are ONE.


No matter what happens I ask that you never forget who is number one, but also never forget that you are ONE.


About toddcbrown

The body of Christ will never grow if the Pastor is the one using his gifts to MAKE IT grow through some cool program or inspiring turn of a phrase.
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